You get what you focus on

Recently, a client was being bagged by an ex employee and asked me what to do about it. I told her that the Law Of Attraction is more powerful than gravity and will reward her for focusing on the positive side of things rather than the negative. Whenever I come across people who complain and whinge about their situation in life or business it’s often the complainers, the people who move to litigation and confrontation rather than reconciliation who are dealt the worst cards in the deck.

I have seen too many instances of people cutting off their noses despite their faces.

Anthony Robbins said it best when he proclaimed “You get what you deserve.”

If you focus on revenge, hatefulness, retaliation, litigation or any other toxic and negative endeavour – the Law Of Attraction will ensure that justice is done in a greater context.

What happens when you act in this way is that you put off a vibe, an aura PLUS people get to KNOW you are a S_ _ _ disturber, a trouble maker.

People will steer clear from you. That means opportunities and ‘chance’ start to work against you – as if ‘on purpose’.

That’s when despair and despondency can kick in – the worse it gets, the more the person wants to lash out.

That’s when it’s the most important and critical NOT to.

For confidentiality reasons, I can’t divulge who this group is, but it was a handful of people who ganged up on a small company – they thought that together, they would pool their resources and make a full frontal attack. Instead of thinking positive, they went totally toxic – it was messy and when S_ _ _ gets thrown around, everyone smells.

• That being said, of the 5 who instigated the ‘action’, the leader of the group was fired from his job. The company he was working with was previously thinking of him for a top management position, but when it was found out he was the one creating all the fuss, they couldn’t afford to have someone on their team. This was a $150K/year job that in the early nineties was like a $250K job now. The sad part is that he was sidelined JUST before the 1991-92 recession and to my knowledge his career never recovered.
• Another member of the group was soon divorced when her husband finally had enough of the stress, pressure and constant conflict she created. The sad part is – she found out a few weeks later she was pregnant and the damage done by then was irreparable.
• Another person was refused membership at one of the prestigious local golf clubs – a $100,000 Membership fee was refused with almost unanimous agreement. What a shock – to be rejected by your peers in your own community!

The word gets around – all the while THEY thought the person being attacked was going to suffer the consequences of the negative publicity.

People today are smart enough to realise who’s at fault and what is warranted and what is not.

The great news is that the small business owner not only survived, but thrived during the recession as he won his clients’ loyalty by remaining calm, cool and steadfast in his defence – winning not just the action, but the hearts and minds of the people who believed in him.

No one’s perfect and everyone understands that.

Everyone respects someone who is dignified, classy and upstanding for his/her beliefs, integrity and principles.

The next time you think about going toxic, consider the following:

Steps to take toward positive restitution:

• Ask yourself NOT how to get even – but how to get PAST this… What resources do you have within you to get yourself past this obstacle? Think about everything you have within your reach, influence and circle of immediate influence – friends, colleagues, past employees, employers, clients and suppliers who can help you. Explaining to them you’ve been hit with an unforeseen ‘situation’ without getting into scapegoating, you’ll get empathy and people will actually go out of their way to help – you’ll be amazed at how much respect and admiration people will have when you share your troubles – SOLUTIONS will present themselves as if by MAGIC.

• Whenever you get into the Vortex of blame – recognise it’s a human and natural tendency and re-direct that passion, energy toward the SOLUTION rather than the problem. Let’s say you invested in something that went pear-shaped – the zoning changed and you’re now stuck with a property that is worth less than you had anticipated… Instead of fuming about what has been lost – focus on what this COULD MEAN…

One example I remember vividly is someone who bought a house on a street that had no real ‘through traffic’. The seller wanted to sell quickly, so sold at a distressed rate. The buyer was ecstatic to pick it it at such a bargain. Within 2-3 months of the purchase being concluded, the local council changed the bus routes and placed a bus stop right in front of the house. As a rental property – the buyer was devastated. He thought the property value would plummet and was worried that the $75K in renovations would never make up for the devaluation. The buyer thought of suing the seller.

That’s when someone with a positive outlook came into the picture. He said “why don’t you find the IDEAL person to rent out your house?” The buyer screamed out loud – the person would have to be DEAF not to care that buses stop and start at the front door.

KA-BOOM!

It him like thunder – he went to the local Deaf Society, put up a for rent sign and by the time the renovations were completed, a new family of 5 with parents both with a hearing disability and an elderly parent who appreciated the proximity to the bus stop for transportation – she could wait for the bus ON HER PORCH! To my knowledge, the family never moved out, eventually buying the property from the original buyer who had COMPLETELY averted a CRISIS…

One positive idea, one positive action is all it took.